Author: Mr.Ramesh Kuppuswamy
We come across these words in discussions, when one or a group conflict with what others say. Many times, the conflict remains as a conflict with no fruitful outcome. This happens in workplace, family or even amongst friends. If the relationship means close to us, we just give in to avoid the conflict by merely accepting others point superficially. Internally, still brewing that our point was right. A repetition brings in a change in belief that the other one is always wrong. Those incidents, one day burst out to say everything about how the other was wrong every time. Vice versa, if one fits into his belief system to trust to be right all the time.
What is a paradigm? It is a multitude of habits based on one’s beliefs and values. Further, it extends to a group of people. Then, what are beliefs and values? External situations and people influence a child as he grows up. A consistent pattern of external factors makes to feel right or wrong creating a belief system. Belief defines the truth and values gives the experience based on that belief. How to talk to elders or what determines, one’s success in a society or existence of God? These are few of larger sets of beliefs imbibed from the society.
As a child, we start accepting everything and then some amount of rationale starts coming in to question. It takes some years crossing teens to have strong reinforced beliefs and values. Every one of us would have noticed going through conflicts with elders in teens and that carries on for some more years until one comes up with one’s own principles, a basket of beliefs and values. It is dynamic in building paradigm as we evolve through this life. Some are dropped and some are added.
One faces the World with these principles guiding our behavior with people and circumstances. However, the experiences are different exhibiting same pattern of behavior. The rights are ones fitting into assumptions based on his beliefs and wrong outside it. One gear himself to face the conflicts based on this and in some cases just dropped to avoid it, convincing internally that he is no mood to get into conflict.
With maturity in years of experience, we do understand the requirement of a paradigm shift to understand the others points view. Most times, we hold ourselves to make that shift away from our strong belief. The mind agrees in conflict with the heart.
How to bring in this shift? A primary shift in our belief system is what is required here. Just changing the behavior for a particular situation is a temporary shift. A relearning process along with a strong reinforcement of what we believe might be wrong with the constant input to change is required. A conscious attempt to change in what was recorded in the subconscious mind. This will bring in a new paradigm with a shift and with the ability to see the same situation in multidimensional perspective.
This brings me in to narrate a popular parable on Paradigm Shift.
Imagine you are in an Airport. While you are waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling shortbread cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally, you find a seat next to a man. You reach down into your traveling bag and pull out your box of shortbread cookies.
As you do so, you notice that the man starts watching you intensely.
He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then, he reaches over and takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You are more than a little surprised at this.
Actually, you are at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but also he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.
Now, what is your immediate impression of this person? Crazy? Greedy? He has some nerve!
Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at the office?
Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there is just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. Then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half and gives half to you.
After he has finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.
You think to yourself, “Do this really happen?” You are left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies.
You then return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when suddenly you glance down into your traveling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of cookies…still unopened.
Only then do you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man’s bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake.
Now, what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You have just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You are seeing things from a new point of view. Is it time to change your point of view? Now, think of this story as it relates to your life. Every story has yours, mine and right side of views.
A boy born in economically background carries a belief that all rich people are right in whatever they do. He carries that throughout his life. He starts to believe that his boss is right all the time. Such beliefs are many when we dug within. Some of these beliefs pave as hurdles in our growth. A paradigm shift is required to unravel our hidden inner potential and to have a different perspective on life if you find something is wrong outside. Rigidness brings in conflict and flexibility, the peace. Here flexibility is not to please, but to understand the other’s point of view.
“ A simple Paradigm shift is all it takes to change course of your life forever.”―Jeff Spires